Title:That Pivotal Moment
Author: TeaL
E-Mail: Talitha_1121@yahoo.com
Rating: PG 
Classification: R/A
Keywords:UST/MSR
Distribution:Please. Just let me know where it's going.
Summary: True love cannot be denied
Author's note: This isn't my usual kind of fic, it's slightly heavier
than I'm used to writing. The idea came about after reading a ton
of fics where M&S just jump into bed without really thinking first
(I'm not saying they were bad fics btw) and I decided that
even something as small as a kiss would produce some kind of
rational thinking...even if FTF shows otherwise!!
I needed a break from those Diana fics and I 
think I've gone about as far away from those as possible in this 
one.
Disclaimer: Nothing XF related belongs to me .All hail the almighty CC,
I am but a meek servant girl who means you  creations no harm.
'ADIA' lyrics belong to the inspirational Sarah McLachlan.
Fic Title comes from a brilliant song by Faith Hill.

"I'll pull you from your tower, take away your pain, show you
all the beauty you possess if you'd only let yourself believe...
It's easy we all falter..."


That Pivotal Moment
By TeaL

"Scully?", Mulder said as he opened his apartment door, surprised to
see Scully standing there at 11pm.
"What are you doing here so late?"
Scully glanced up at him and looked around as though she didn't realize
where she is.
"I was driving, and thinking....", she paused
"I'm sorry I don't know why I came here", She said turning to
leave as though being outside her partners door at 11pm was
a sin.
Mulder touched her arm causing her to stop and look at him
"Don't leave", he said quietly, hoping she wouldn't hear 
the desperate plea for company his voice was trying to mask.
The same need that had unknowingly been the cause that had
led her to his door in the first place.
Scully followed him in and took a seat next to him on his
couch, she enjoyed his company and started to wonder if she
depended on it a little too much, her need to be near him
had grown stronger since her fight with the cancer had begun.
But now that was over she didn't want to lose their new 
connection.
"So what's wrong?", Mulder asked her concerned as he turned
to face her.
She silently prayed she wasn't about to sound pathetic.
"I was driving, I needed to get out of the house but I had no
idea where I was going.I didn't even realize I had turned up
here, I wasn't thinking.....or maybe I was  thinking too
much", she told him
"Do you ever wish things had been different?", the words
holding more meaning for her than he ever dreamed possible
"Doesn't everyone?", Mulder asked , confused as to where this
was going
"I mean, between us....?", she paused hoping she wasn't about
to completely freak him out.
"Do you think if we had met under different circumstances, if
we weren't partners....do you think we would be friends?
Do you ever wonder, if thing we different, if we would be
more than friends.........", her words trailed off.
Mulder took her hand and locked eyes with hers.
"yes", he finally managed to choke out, "I do"
Taking what she had said as a sign that she felt exactly
the same way he did, he gently pulled her towards him
slightly, intending on finally kissing the one woman
in his life who he loved, truly loved.
Who he couldn't imagine life without.

Scully's eyes grew wide as Mulder leaned into her.
Was this happening?
Was he really , truly about to kiss her?
Did she just sit there......
lean into him?
Grab him firmly and kiss him more passionately then either has ever
been
kissed before?
Or run away?
This was too much.
This was Mulder , her partner, her best friend, her lover?
She did want this, she wanted this so bad, but it wasn't right.
It would be entering dangerous waters.
Mulder's hand encircled her waist, sending shockwaves through every
nerve in her overstressed body.
He was so close , she could feel his breath, smell his Mulder scent,
feel his heart pounding.........for her.
His lips were mere inches from hers now and just as they were about to
touch hers...........she pulled back .
He stared at her perplexed.
Scully gently pulled herself away from his warmth , her eyes pleading
forgiveness for what she had just done.
Neither spoke for a moment, both silently dealing with their emotions.
A silence Scully finally broke.
"Mulder I.........", she hesitated when she saw the hurt and confusion
in his eyes, "I need time, I have to think about this, I.......I .....
*we* need to think about this"
"Scully.......Dana........Scully......", Mulder fumbled, "You don't
want
this?"
Scully felt like she was about to cry
"Of course I want this, Mulder I care about you so much, so much it
scares me, I've never felt what I feel for you for anyone else before
in
my *whole* life.......you already know this but you make me complete
and
I'm scared.......", She trailed off as she fought back the tears.
Mulder gently touched her cheek and whispered, "Scared of what?"
She met his eyes
"scared of losing the best thing that ever happened to me"
She choked back a sob , "I have to go,please don't take this wrong, I
just need time to think"
And with that she stood and left the apartment leaving him sitting
there
hurt and confused.
She knew he understood what their actions could bring about, how much
it
would change. They had come close many times now, but actually kissing
would cross too many lines. Lines Scully badly wanted to cross but
which
her rational mind wouldn't let her.

She drove home slowly, continuously replaying what had happened
tonight,
continuously cursing herself for pulling away. Damnit, why couldn't she
be more impulsive. Screw the rules, screw her damn conscience, screw
regrets.........she wanted him so bad.
It was really just starting to hit her, and hit her hard. Driving
through the lonely deserted streets Scully was beginning to feel like
turning the car around and going back to Mulder's apartment, where
she'd
throw him against the wall and make love to him all night.
Scully laughed at herself
'Yea like I'd have the guts to do that' she thought.
It felt good to laugh and not wallow in herself pity. A forever nagging
sinking feeling that she'd just blown her one and only chance to let
him
know how loved he is engulfed her stomach and her heart flopped in her
chest.
But she kept driving
Scully knew she'd get no sleep tonight.

3am

"It's 3 am I must be lonely"
The song lyrics ran through Mulders insomniac mind.
Had he blown it? Would he have another chance with her?
Mulder tried to swallow the quickly forming lump in his throat...
Would their friendship be altered now?
This wasn't the first time they had come close to kissing, and those
times, apart from the slight awkwardness that lasted mere days
afterwards, their friendship remained  intact.....if not stronger than
before.
Still he was worried.
Glancing over at his phone he wondered if he should call her.
3am?
she'd be sleeping.
It was selfish of him to even think of ringing her at this time.
'Yes Mulder, believe it or not there are people out there that chose to
sleep', a voice told him.

*Briiiiing*

"What the........."
Mulder reached hesitantly for the phone, this was either a really good
sign, or an extremely bad one.
"Mulder", he answered.
silence
"Hello?", he paused, then "Scully , is that you?"
He heard a small sigh
It was her, oh thank you god!
"Mulder, I'm ready to talk, if you are........", a small voice told him
He didn't hesitate for a second,
"I'll be right there", he told her and hung up before she had a chance
to tell him she meant over the phone! *Not* in person!

Scully dropped the phone back in it's cradle.
It was definitely time for a well deserved panic attack.

Mulder's shaking hand somehow managed to knock
on Scully's apartment door.
He was wired.
having almost seriously considered running the whole
way but driving instead, Mulder now had the biggest
adreneline surge of his life wrecking having with
his mind and body.
He felt as though he'd drunk a pot of strong coffee
and considered running around the block a few times.
But he was here, finally at her door, and if he went for
that run he knew he'd end up somewhere between his apartment
and hers ...considerably closer to his own and there would be 
no way he'd return to hers.
Ultimately chickening out.
Receiving no response from the other side of the door Mulder
tried the handle and was surprised to feel it turn in his
hand......very un-Scully like.
Mulder pushed the door open cautiously, as though she would
be standing there with a gun pointed at his head.....or some 
place lower.
But Scully wouldn't do that.....would she?
He was relieved to see her unarmed, although she was standing 
behind the table obviously trying to put something other
than emotional space between them.
Mulder gently closed the door , took a few steps and spoke
quietly,
"Let's talk"
He heard her sigh, she then gestured at one of the chairs by 
the table opposite hers as she sat.
"Scully...", he began 
"No Mulder, you listen", Scully interrupted him and he sat 
silently unable to tell if she was mad at him or not.
He suddenly became worried for if she was mad he had
no idea why....well analytically sure, if he thought about
it he could piece together a reason for her to be angry,
but he didn't want to think about it too intensely, so he
listened to what she had to say and prepared himself for
the verbal onslaught he was sure he'd be facing.
"You are my best friend, you know that, apart from my
mother there isn't another person alive I feel closer to."
Scully gently told him as she tried to keep herself from
falling apart and crying in his arms.
"And I do love you, I think you know that too, I hope you do, 
I hope after all we've been through you realize just what you 
mean to me although I've never told you out loud"
Mulder nodded , confirming that he did indeed know and
whispered "Ditto"
Scully took a deep breath and searched for the right words
for what she had to say next.
"But if we were to go beyond friendship, if we were to...
act on these feelings.....it would be wrong."
Scully stopped and shook her head
"No wait , I don't mean....I mean...it wouldn't be *wrong*
god it would be so right", she said blushing slightly
"It's just that what if we...us...together, what if it didn't
work, say we broke up ......", she paused and finally met the
pair of eyes on the other side of the table that she had been
avoiding.
"We could lose so much"
Mulder reached over and gently took her hand, He understood 
completely, he had thought about that himself, he couldn't
stand the though of losing who he considered his soul mate,
but he needed her, as more than a partner and as more than a 
friend.
"Scully, we've put up with eachother for 6 years, the fact
that you haven't killed me already is a good sign. I've 
yelled at you, questioned your trust towards me , ditched
you countless times, kept information from you...the list
goes on.
We could carry on pretending that we are satisfied with
being only friends but how long can we keep up the charade?
How long before the need for more overwhelms us?
Every second I'm away from you I feel week...you're my 
strength Dana"
Scully looked at him through eyes filled with tears needing
to be released. She hated crying infront of him, but there
were times when she just couldn't hold them back, now being one
of those times.
Mulder stood , still with his hand in hers and slowly moved
around the table.
Scully also stood and moved with him as to not lose the 
connection.
Standing close, bodies almost touching Mulder asked,
"If I were to kiss you, would it be such a bad thing?"
before she could  say yes he continued
"I understand what you are saying about losing what we
have, but we work Dana, we are so right together.
I'd never do anything to damage what we have.....that's why
I waited so long...waited until we were both ready.
Are you ready?", his eyes pleaded with her.
Scully leaned into his body and he took her in his arms, hoping
this wasn't a pity hug.
Then through the silence in the room he heard her murmur,
"I'm ready"
Mulder let out a breath he never realised he had been holding
and gently placed his hands on either side of her head as she
raised it to look at him.
She had stopped crying, her eyes were clear and bright and
full of that Dana Scully confidence he'd come to rely on.
She was very ready, she had always been ready.
She had also always been very scared, but Mulder's touch,
his soft words, always smoothed her fears and gave her the
strength to continue.
Slowly he dipped his head and after what felt an eternity, their
lips met.
tentatively at first, then Scully pressed her lips more firmly to
his, the sudden pressure jolting every nerve in his body.
Their lips fit together perfectly as if they had been molded from
before their birth to be made for eachother.
Perhaps it was due to centuries of past lives together.
Their souls pulling them together , perhaps having started out
as one and torn into two in some moment in time making them
pure soul mates.
Their lips parted and they gazed into eachothers eyes for longer
than either realised.
There were no more regrets, no more doubts, and never would there
be any questions such as "what now?", or "where do we go from here?"
They knew the answers, they had never needed words to ask them.
And as Mulder folded Scully tightly into his familiar , warm embrace
he knew neither would ever have to worry about being alone again.
This was forever.

THE END
Feedback: Talitha_1121@yahoo.com

~No relationships were harmed while writing this fic~